My first day back in the gym for 8 days now. I had a little bit of that back to school feeling when you’re slightly uncertain if all the kids will still like you. But then you spot your friend and everything is alright again. Well, my friend is the elliptical machine. Every time I see it I think ‘You’re going to give me a great workout. Yay!’ I’m trying to work through all the nerves I feel before I workout. It feels like every time I get into the changing room I have 5 minutes where I completely freak out and then I make myself walk out and after 2 mins I’m fine. Does anyone else feel like this? I am naming it Gymxiety. Gym+anxiety. I forgot my Gymanxiety and did 10 mins on the elliptical and 30 mins on the treadmill. As always interval training.
I took a 25mins walk yesterday and you know, I miss walking in the open air. I remember walking for hours in the rain and loving it but, hating the reason I was walking. (Because I couldn’t bear to go home). Walking is like meditation for me. It goes me a chance to clear my head and sort things out. I might not be able to walk as much anymore but I am going to try and fit at least one 20 mins walk in a week.
I started out a few months ago wanting to exercise as a way of getting stronger, fitter and to lose weight. What I am now realising is that there are wider repercussions. The way that I am thinking is changing. I feel like I have a camera lens and the blurry picture is now becoming more focused. It’s as though all this time I had forgotten how to operate the lens. I knew that the lens was in my hands but, I was paralysed and unable to use it. At any moment I can make the decision to do a, b or c. If it makes me happy. It might not necessarily be comfortable but it might bring me unexpected joy.