Today, as I was eating lunch I realised that I was actually scared of losing weight because it’s going to a place that I’ve never been or seen before. I’ve always been the chubby girl. I’ve never visited Planet Slim. It made me feel anxious and I had not realised this before. I put my inability to keep waiting off as a sign of me not trying hard enough. Rather than seeing that this requires me to go to a place that I’ve never down before and that this entails me doing things that I’ve never done before. As I love trying new things I think that this is a brilliant opportunity for me to find different ways to exercise and to make it interesting for myself.
It’s been a quiet week for me exercise-wise. The Raindance film festival is in town so I’ve been 2-3 movies every evening after work. This has meant 5-6 hours of sleep for me. I figured that this was something that I wanted to do for the last 4 years so I would cut my gym sessions and throw in a couple of short daily walks. My last proper workout was on Monday when I did some Core and hip work at lunchtime. The last time that I went to the gym was on Saturday when I spent 15mins on the elliptical and 45mins on the treadmill. This doesn’t really fit in with my health first philosophy does it, huh? Mmmm…not good enough. But, I’ll move on. I plan on going to the gym tomorrow before I hit the cinema. I have been aware of what I am eating and how I am eating all week. I trying to be more conscious of when and why I eat. In order to make sure that I am really hungry for food and not for something else. I eat half of my favourite cupcake that I had not had for three months. At that moment I was feeling full of love that I handed the rest to my friend. Ordinarily, that cupcake would have been all mine as I can only buy it in a couple of places in London. So, I’m making progress on the food front.
This morning I took my measurements and set my goal weight. It was scary and overwhelming to see the figures on paper. I am excited. I received the Supreme 90 Day System a few days ago. I haven’t had time to do any of the workouts but, I’m going to break out the CD tomorrow to have a look. I’ll let you know what I think.
This time I not going to give up. But, this is not a war. I’m not going to fight with my body. I am going to make peace with it. Love and cherish it for the way it is.