I joined the Blogilates diet bet challenge! I’m slightly scared but, I know that I can do it. Plus, I’m competitive. Quietly though. Probably the worse kind. I’ve seen diet bets from YouTube personalities before so when Cassey posted her video I know that I had to do it. I’M NOT LOSING THAT MONEY!!! It’s the perfect motivation to get me to exercise more and also, to add some higher intensity workouts to my regime.
Monday to Friday I walk for 1.5 hours but, it’s not high intensity. More of a medium pace quick walk. I’ve been running sporadically on the weekends, too and my eating has been relatively clean. I’m not kidding when I say that oatcakes with honey, cinnamon and blueberries are my YOLO meal. It’s paid off. I am losing weight and body fat. Using the next notch up on my belt makes me smile and I know that slow weight loss is the best type. It’s just that when you have so much to lose you wonder when you’ll be able to stop? I guess that the answer is that these changes that I’ve made are not a short term solutions. This is going to be my way of life and it’s a bit of a shock when I compare it to my old life. Will I be able to maintain it or will I slide into old patterns? One place I can see it being difficult is eating with other people whether it’s going to a friend’s home or out in a restaurant. I don’t want to have to explain to every single person that I don’t eat this or that. I seem to drink a lot of tea in restaurants instead of eating:) I don’t just want to eat, I want to eat well.
I looked in the mirror this morning and told myself that I love me. Very, very much. I could actually look myself in the eye and do this. Sincerely. Three years ago I was so embarrassed doing this Louise Hay exercise. I remember trying it. I was shy; I couldn’t look myself in the eye; and although I so badly wanted to mean it, I didn’t. Learning to nurture and care for myself has set me on a journey to peeling back the layers of who I am and falling with myself once again. Even if does mean that I let out the competitive beast that has been quietly living inside of me! That 4% is going down this month!
I went back to the gym on Monday! Yay! I stepped on my old friend the treadmill and it felt good. OK, for the first 10 minutes it felt like there were fire ants crawling over my skin cos my psoriasis but after that I got into it. Over the last few weeks I thought that I was going to have to change the name of this blog to ‘Be The Psoriasis Girl’.lol. Jokes aside having the goal of getting healthier and losing weight has actually sustained me when I was curled up in pain. No binge eating or lying down feeling sorry for myself. I’ve changed my diet, upped my supplements and concentrated on getting better. Knowing that I had somewhere that I was accountable to meant to I had to get back on that treadmill. I mean I did try some ridiculous diversions on the way to the gym. I told myself that I was tired. That I was unwell. I thought about freezing my membership. I had to tell myself to cut the BS!
But, if anything is a motivator it’s fitting into a smaller size dress. I bought a Maison Martin Margiela for H&M dress a couple of weeks ago and I fit into a size 16! Which has never ever happened before in H&M. I’m quite top heavy so it was unexpected and it made me so happy. (I should add that it took me 30 mins work out how to wear this dress so that might have added to my happiness when I finally cracked it!) My BF and I are hoping to go to NY in May so I’m thinking of setting a size goal for then as I keep seeing dresses that I want but are not in my current size. Or will just be setting myself up for failure?
I am so glad to be back. When I stretched during Corework I was grateful that I could bend. When I finished running yesterday I was grateful that I afford to go to the gym. I’m going to hit it hard this month. I really can’t wait to see how my body changes.
I can categorically state that I do not want to work out today. I missed my Core workout at lunch and I’ve eaten a lot of chocolate. To make matters worse I am not able to go to the gym because I’m meeting my friends after work. But, if I only workout when I’m motivated to move, I’d probably only make to the gym once a week. Where there is a will, there is a way and all that jazz. Walking lunges here I come!
Usually, I have to tell the voice in my voice to ‘F*** off!’ So, imagine my surprise when I was falling asleep on the train and the voice said ‘Right. To the gym!’. I thought ‘Ha?’ I was confused. Perplexed. When I say I was feeling asleep I mean properly drifting off with my head banging against the side of the train a few times. And I never sleep in moving vehicles. For two nights I had a total of 10 hours sleep. The first night I had to go back to work at 10.30pm to sort out some mess and the other night I spent the evening with an upset friend. Generally, on days like this I tend to over eat and not exercise. When I managed to walk into the gym last night and actually do Blogilates’ Shuffle-a-Truffle I was like WHAT THE HELL!! I never knew I had it in me. Running sideways on a treadmill is actually quite fun. I’m going to try running backwards. Maybe not anytime soon though.
This morning I reluctantly stepped on to the scale. All week I felt lighter but the last thing I wanted to step onto the scales and I find that I was on the same weight or heavier. With PCOS working out does not always translate to the numbers that you want. Plus, I feel so great I didn’t want to blow it. Like I had done in the past. I was happy to see that I’ve lost 2kg this week! Yay for me! It spurred me on to do Blogilates’ workout for the day and I realise I like jumping. As a child I was always made to stay in one place and not run around (plus I love reading) so I’m always self conscious when I’m jumping or moving quickly. But, I’ve found that I like jumping. I’m sure my neighbours don’t though. I won’t be stepping on the scales again for a month now. I don’t want to judge my performance by numbers alone. I hope that you have had an inspiring workout today.
Somehow, I had not realised that my body would be this sore. And that I would have to hit the gym and work hard whilst aching. During my workouts I am focused and I work through the pain- no more looking at the panels of other people’s machines when I’m almost dying. Ha! There’s one way of getting rid of comparison envy. Whatever discomfort I’m feeling during my exercises I can bear. But, I did not know that I would not give myself a rest and that the next day I would be back in the gym repeating the killer exercise from yesterday. At least I can walk. Last week after my session on the treadmill I couldn’t go down stairs for 5 days. At least my body is adapting. I managed to fit in two hours of exercise on Monday. I woke up early by accident and the first thing I thought was ‘I can exercise!’ Strange and slightly scary. I am almost waiting for this joy to fall away and for me to go back to my old self. Don’t get me wrong it’s not like every day is like this. Last week I spent most of my week feeling horrid and I cried myself to sleep last night. But, I kicked ass on that treadmill though.
Yesterday, during my Core exercises and hipwork I realised two things: Firstly, that everything that I have learned for the last few years has finally come together. For a long time I did not fully commit to changing myself. Now, it’s not easy but, it’s not the uphill struggle that it used to be. Yes, I have tried to talk myself out of going to the gym for the last two days. But, I went and worked HARD! To top that I worked out for two hours on Monday as I woke up early and did some yoga. The second thing that I realised is that I need to respect my injuries. My pigeon pose is quite deep on my left side but my right knee is injured. It used to frustrate me that I could not bend my knee as much or bend forward as far as I wanted. However, yesterday I thought to myself ‘This is how far you can go today. Respect your injury. Respect your knee.’
It’s coming together in a way that I never thought possible. My portions have decreased and I am not starving. Although my cashew nut addiction shows no sign of abating. Why can I not have an addiction to carrots instead?:) Aching limbs are now my badge of pride. I’ve even somehow managing to overcome my fear of people using me exercise. I’ve found a new room for my lunchtime practise. Sure, a high rise office block overlooks me and I am sorry if you saw my knickers today. But, a girl’s got to do what a girl’s got to do.
I’ve had a bit of a blah day today. I woke up late. I forget my lunch which was already packed and ready to go in my fridge. I was dizzy up until lunchtime. Top it off I was sleepy. So sleepy that I could have gladly rested my head on my desk. Until 4.30pm struck and I thought ‘I’m going to the gym! Yes!’ At 4.55pm I went to put my jacket in my bag and I thought let me check my kit. From the moment I put on my gym bag this morning I thought ‘This feels a bit lighter than usual’. However, I was in such a hurry that I did not give much thought to it.
Guess what? I had forgotten my yoga pants. Great, right? Going to the gym in my t-shirt and trainers was not an option.lol So, on top of not being able to do any core work at lunch because the room was booked I also wouldn’t be working out in the evening. Well, at least I could take my new Hunter wellies straight home so I could try them on instead of leaving them at work I thought.
Got home and tried my wellies and thought I could do some blogilates videos! Here, I am. My abs are hurting and my shoulders and back. My inner thighs! I’ve even done this video. If you haven’t seen this video please go and check it out. You will fall over with laughter.
I promised myself that I would not chain my fitness to the gym. Workouts can be done anywhere. In your lounge, in your local park. I used to make myself go to the gym only at a certain time of day because I hated the atmosphere so much. If I missed that prescribed time slot I would not go and guess, what most of the time I didn’t go. Years ago I used to run in my park during the summer and do videos at home for the rest of the year. I had never stepped in a gym at that time and that’s when I lost 4 dress sizes. I’m remembering that workouts can be fun even if they burn. I’m learning that progress is what it’s about not perfection. Yes, I could not do all the reps this evening. My form might have been off sometimes. My stomach still cramps terribly after doing a tiny amount of core work. But, I’m going to keep pushing myself. I’m doing more than I’ve done in a long time and, yes, quite frankly I so need to high five myself right now. Hahahaha
Food for today – D- honestly for my eating today. It was a case of the serious snack attack in the morning because I was so dizzy.
- Breakfast- gluten free porridge with soya milk, cashew nuts and banana chips.
- A ridiculous amount of banana chips
- Salad with beans and a little rice and quarter honey and mustard chicken.
I will definitely do better tomorrow.
My workout was 35mins with a variety of blogilates videos. I wanted to do another video but, the last time I did one of her leg videos I couldn’t go down stairs for a week. I always find Pilates deceptive! Check her out if you haven’t seen her on youtube. She is my inspiration. I completely love her. During my workout yesterday around 22 mins my thighs were burning so much and I wanted to step off the elliptical and kept saying to myself “what would Cassey say?’
Who or what inspired you to workout? Do you have someone that you are totally crazy about?
It was my third day at the gym today. I was surprised at how much sweat just kept pouring down my face and into my eyes and down my cheeks. I felt really proud. Sounds a bit disgusting doesn’t it? Sorry.
I’m still doing short workouts because I want to go to the gym everyday. I feel as though working out helps me with other things in my life. Like my concentration at work. With eating almost-healthy. With being hopeful about my life.
- 30 mins core work
- 30 mins elliptical on level 6- my thighs were on fire! Interval training.
For supper I had poussin and a salad today.
Before the gym I had a Nakd cocoa bar and banana. After the gym I had a protein shake.
Here is my food diary from yesterday:
Breakfast flaxseed meal porridge with apple
Supper- homemade gluten free pizza with turkey, kale, tomatoes, carrots and buffalo mozzarella cheese
I hope that you enjoyed your workout as much as I did today.
Love and hugs,